It’s Wednesday morning, early. Our second day out of
Lunenburg. The sun is not up, and the only sign that it might rise today is a
slight lightening in the east of the heavy grey fog that envelopes the Pride
of Baltimore II. “A” Watch is on deck. We’re all dressed for the cold and damp.
My butt leans against the rail as I talk with Jill, the boat’s Chief Mate.
Here I am on a six-week trip with a crew of mostly
20-something-ers. Being with young folks is exciting and invigorating for a 60-something-er
like me. Yes, I’m married, but no, I haven’t shut my eyes and mind to the world.
I’m still attracted to beauty, on whatever and on whomever I can see it.
I’ve easily become friends with Jill since the POB2 set
sail 10 days ago. She’s an international affairs graduate of Boston University
who’s both articulate and athletic. She’s also good looking, a fact I noticed
even before setting foot on the deck back in Baltimore.
But, I’m married. To another beauty, Mary Ann, who
captured my attention and heart the instant I saw her 30+ years ago. And I’m
plenty old, 65 at the time of my voyage in 2012. That’s nearly 40 years older
than Jill and most of the other crew.
But chemistry is chemistry, so what am I going to do? I
can’t help but be enchanted by her. She’s everything I’m attracted to in women
– besides beautiful, she’s smart, adventurous, ambitious, fun-loving and
unafraid to put herself into a position of authority.
Back to that early morning watch in the north Atlantic.
Butts on the rail, Jill and I are talking a little. But not much. She’s
wearing a blue sweatshirt with the hood up and a ball cap under her hood. I say something, or maybe she does. In my left peripheral view, I see
a blue glow surrounding her face. I’m spellbound. Oh shit! What do I do with
this? I walk away, or maybe she does.
OK, I know. Blue sweatshirt, foggy morning, what little light is coming from behind her on a wooden sailing ship on the North Atlantic. A hallucination? Maybe, or maybe it's just, “You see what you want to see.” But that’s beside the point. Life is filled with mysteries and wonders. I know, because I just experienced another one.
Not to put too fine a point on this, but I fell in love with Jill that morning. Falling in love is not something to get too exercised over. Humans do it all the time, if they let themselves. People can’t help but to fall in love with other people. It’s rewarding and it’s also taxing. For me, my chemistry told me I wanted something (someone). But my intellect said, “Hold on there, sport.” Ahh (Achh), longing!
Unfortunately, now I’m preoccupied by my experience with my butt on the rail. Fortunately, nothing is going to come of this. Not just because I’m happily married, for we all know what even happily married people can talk themselves into. And age-discrepancy hasn’t always stopped men in the past. But it stopped me. When I found out how old (young) Jill was at her birthday party the previous weekend, the wind went out of my wistful sails. Knowing her age allowed me to look at her with new eyes, like a daughter (which I don’t have), or a daughter-in-law (of which I have two). I'm enchanted.
The blue glow is still in my mind from earlier this morning. It did not dissipate and I still have five weeks left aboard the POB2. Fortunately, the boat is still pretty cool, the crew a delight, the scenery terrific, and I’m in a space where mysteries and wonders still happen. It's amazing out there!
(Most
fog pictures from Google Images, except a couple which are by ship/watch mate
Erin C…Thanks)
